Bahhhh! Sorry friends! Last week was Matt’s birthday, and that with a few other things distracted me from writing. And, we went camping last weekend and Matt’s parents are now in town, and I haven’t learned to prepare ahead with this blogging thing. Glad you’re back for more, though! :)
Well, I just have a few more tips to add as far as wedding planning goes. If you missed the first part, check it out here! And the list goes on…
4) Be detached
When you plan your wedding, you’re obviously concerned about every detail. The font style on the invitations, monogrammed napkins, what kind of plastic (or silver) ware your guests will use, how each table needs to be arranged with decorations… I could go on and on.
Though some of these little details may really stand out to you as important, a majority of these things don’t really matter. If you get plain napkins instead of monogrammed napkins will people still be able to clean up messes? If the dinner tables are setup differently than you imagined will the guests notice? Will these things affect the fact that you are now married?
What makes Pinterest fun for wedding ideas are the details captured in the photographs. What makes Pinterest horrible for wedding ideas are the unrealistic expectations that each of those details can be captured in real life. I had to stop looking at Pinterest for wedding ideas because I couldn’t figure out how to make my wedding look as perfect as the pictures. And, ultimately, I realized none of those things mattered.
I mean, think about it. How often do you look back on weddings you went to and think, “wow, the font she put on her invitations was so cute!”? I doubt you’ve ever… People remember you and your spouse. They remember how beautiful you were and happy each of you looked to be married to your best friend.
Sure, there are the few people who notice how extraordinarily beautiful the flowers are or how precious some detail was that the bride created (I have those friends!), but most guests will just see the flowers and not think too much else about them. They’ll see Styrofoam plates and plastic forks, but they won’t notice how it detracts from your formal reception.
From a religious perspective, you also have to realize that the “stuff” doesn’t matter. I know it’s a difficult thing to do. If you find yourself struggling to let the stuff go, ask yourself, “is this helping me grow in virtue?”, “how will these things help my marriage be more holy?” These questions aren’t to make you get rid of all the things. Your wedding day is a special feast to be celebrated, but there’s no need to be anxious about the details.
5) Relax after your wedding
I think the best thing Matt and I did was rent a little cottage at a bed and breakfast for three days after our wedding. We didn’t have to wake up the next day to catch a plane taking us to our dream honeymoon destination.
Matt and I are the kind of Catholics that didn’t pretend to be married before we were married (you know what I’m saying…), so as you can imagine, there was a lot to learn about each other. 8| We spent those three days, phones turned off, only having to be the other’s spouse. There were no more wedding plans to think of or places we needed to be. I can’t begin to describe how nice those three days were.
I know real-life and vacation time won’t permit most couples to be able to do this, but I think it could be worth it to shorten your honeymoon and just be able to relax at home/hotel/b&b with your new spouse for at least a day.
Okay, I know this is short! But, I think between this and Part 1, I’ve covered the things that really helped me stay grounded in the whole wedding planning process. I do hope these may have given you a different perspective from what you normally read about. Also, since Matt’s parents are in town, I’m limited on time and reeeeally want this to be posted! More specific wedding posts will come! :)